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September 09, 2010, 10:51:13 PM *
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A Darker Vision > A Darker Vision Critique Forum > Poetry Forums > Poetry Critique Forum > Christmas
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Author Topic: Christmas  (Read 230 times)
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agib00
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« on: December 26, 2009, 09:32:07 PM »
The magic came
and went too soon.

Peace reigned for a day
then, alas,
vanished like new fallen snow

Reindeer, with Rudolph in lead,
 wearily returned to stall
feeling they had given  all

Santa breathed a little sigh
checklist complete
and hoped the elves
didn't picket again
 til next they meet.
 Wink
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Mule
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« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2010, 08:08:26 PM »
Nice poem AG

Solidarity and Onions
For all!

You know, those damn elves let Santa nap until March….  Then they wake him and pour him beers until he turns green.  The massive hangover lasts weeks and during this period Santa’s ears grow long and fluffy.  His white beard covers his entire body, like fur and he gets a strong yearning for boiled eggs and sugar.
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« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2010, 06:57:56 PM »
You know, those damn elves
Let Santa nap until March…. 
Then they wake him and
Pour him beers until he turns green.
 
The massive hangover lasts weeks and
During this period Santa’s ears
Grow long and fluffy.
 
His white beard covers his entire body,
Like fur and he gets a strong yearning for
Boiled eggs and sugar.
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Mule
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« Reply #3 on: March 18, 2010, 08:15:13 PM »
LOL...Better I think.  And where do we go from here?
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agib00
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« Reply #4 on: March 21, 2010, 09:15:41 PM »
Too cute, guys. Mine  was rather "amatuerish"  but fun to think of Santa morphing. Roll Eyes
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Mule
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« Reply #5 on: March 22, 2010, 06:01:08 PM »
Hi AG,

No intrusion intended!  I very much enjoy the 'picketing elves idea.'  I was merely commenting with a little asinine gibberish.  And it just happened to be St. Patrick's Day.  Sorry!

Mule
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agib00
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« Reply #6 on: March 22, 2010, 06:51:29 PM »
mule, no apology, I was really being serious in my flaws I saw.
More importantly, I was enjoying the fun that came about. lol
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« Reply #7 on: March 30, 2010, 04:31:18 PM »
Very nice. Like how this flows. I also like the revised poem. And yes I believe Santa drinks to keep warm. LOL
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