Drifting in the New World Order

[Helvetica]

Drifting in the New World Order

With cynical smiles, banker’s repeat like a prayer
“Amortization of depreciation”.
Ravaged by a violent storm they summoned,
Dreadful, thankless traders on Wall Street
Pray to their corporate gods for redemption.
Politicians telling lies, voices decisive and strong,
State that pain is a stranger here;
That tragedy is unknown.
 
I can see the men and women in the streets;
Drifting, drifting past in the past,
Tired feet treading on.

There is pain throughout the country,
Young and beautiful, old and feeble alike,
Share in the burden of a disastrous long-term care;
 
I see the evidence of the wasted,
Once fresh, sweet and fair;
Who have drifted into the street,
Yellow, sunken faces
Drifting, drifting past in the past;
With hunting, restless legs.
 
The river of humanity rushes in fear of being late,
To losing their place in the flowing waves,
Bodies and souls crushing, crushing;
Barely getting enough to eat.

Set to face the day, only to be exploited and
Left wandering the city;
This is the story of the unemployed and weary,
Drifting, drifting past in the past,
Tired feet treading on.

My heart bleeds for the owners of these sad faces.

[Mule]

This one doesn’t work for me so much.  I can empathize with the speaker, but to me, emotions got the better part of the poem.  Though the message is clear enough there is an overall vagueness to the piece.  For instance, “Dreadful, thankless traders…” gives only the slightest image of what these people look like.  Other segments are similar, like, “There is pain throughout the country… / …Share in the burden of a disastrous long-term care;”  What does “a disastrous long-term” care look like?  And so on.  Like those Christian Children’s Fund commercials, they don’t just tell us kids are poor and starving.  Rather, they show us graphic pictures of filthy, skinny and sick children to sell us in their campaign for our money.
I think what will help the poem will be to narrow the focus toward one or two individuals, or specific scenes that, perhaps even stereotypically, can be depicted vividly.

And for me, the last line, “My heart bleeds for the owners of these sad faces.” is far too much of a cliché.

Thanks,
Mule